Just Gliding Along...

2012-02-05T16:45:00.000-05:00

Sometimes when I'm holding our new little guy I can't help but think back to four years ago. I try very hard to remember what munchkin #1 was like at this age. Sadly, I don't remember a lot of details of his first three months. I remember the fussiness. I remember my desperation and feeling overwhelmed all the time. I have snippets of smiles and baby coos but mostly I just remember a grey cloud. Fortunately, I did manage to write down all his milestones (and even just every day stuff,) so I have that to look back on, but that process was robotic and those memories aren't ingrained in my memory. Which makes me sad.

I'm enjoying my newborn so much this time around and while that makes me very happy, relieved even, it also makes me a little sad. Sad that I didn't have this the first time around. I feel like I was robbed of so many wonderful experiences. Sometimes I worry about how this has affected my four year old. He has a sensory processing disorder. That is what it is in and of itself. But I often wonder how much of a role my PPD played in his early development because I know it affected my parenting. I know it's not something I should brew over; the past is the past and the important thing is that I worked very hard to get better. It's just.... sometimes.... I wonder.

So This is What it's Like

2011-12-29T11:17:00.005-05:00

Today I'm metaphorically dusting off my long neglected blog. I think about it often; I just don't seem to find the time to visit. A lot has happened since my last post. First and foremost, we welcomed our second son in early November. I was prepared, perhaps even expecting, another round of PPD. I'm happy to report that, thus far at least, the beast has failed to rear it's ugly head again. I know I'm not out of the woods yet but I can't even begin to express what a different parenting experience this has been so far. It does help that this little guy is a much calmer and contented baby than our four year old was as a newborn but I also know I feel different with that fact aside.

I have my moments to be sure. We struggle with our four year old's sensory difficulties and multiple therapies and that adds stress for sure. There are moments (yesterday for one) where I just want to "quit." But the moments pass and I move on. THIS is different. In the throes of PPD, the moments never passed. Ever. I didn't sleep and I didn't enjoy any aspect of parenting a newborn. The fact that I am sleeping in the sense that I can fall asleep if/when the opportunity presents itself is monumental to me. With DS#1, there was no sleep even when baby slept. I'm struggling with nursing issues again but I had one blissful first week were my baby actually nursed and didn't scream. There was no formula to come home from the hospital with. Later jaundice issues would interfere with our attempts to establish nursing patterns but, despite some sad tears here and there, I'm dealing with it and haven't given up yet. Again, the moments pass.

I know this isn't the most eloquent of blog posts. I'm not editing it and re-writing it the way I want to but if I limited myself to blog post perfectionism, I'd never publish a post! So please forgive the stream of consciousness writing and all its typos. I just wanted to share that PPD doesn't always have to happen. Sometimes, things go the way they should. So hold out hope. It will get get better and it doesn't always have to be.

Oh and P.S. - I'm happy.

Will you take me back?

2011-10-26T16:42:00.001-04:00

Hi. Remember me? I'm the one that actually used to post on this blog. I know I've been MIA for way too long. I miss my blog and my blog followers... I really do. I've just had a really hard time getting myself to actually write. I think part of it is that blogging was sort of my down time/therapy time while my son napped; once naps stopped, so did my blogging. I also think I've been going through so much that I just haven't known where to start as far as getting back and writing a post. I put pressure on myself for perfection sometimes. OK... most of the time. So I sometimes let that intimidate me. You can see here, however, that this post is anything but perfect. I'm sure my grammar and punctuation are off (and I'm an English major of all things) and this post is hardly going to sound "professional" or well thought out. (As a matter of fact, it's not "thought out" at all; it's pure stream of consciousness.)

Baby number two is due in about three weeks and of course that is a BIG stress. Though this has been a tough pregnancy it hasn't held any of the perinatal depression signs that my first pregnancy did. I'm generally happy, enjoy feeling kicks (last time I actually had pangs of depression when I felt movement; BIG clue, dontcha think??) and think the nervousness I'm experiencing is normal (whatever normal is; I really try not to use that word). Sometimes I worry about whether PPD will rear its ugly head again. I try and thwart those thoughts knowing I have a plan and support group already in place. I try not to over-think (though I'm not always successful). Mainly my concerns gravitate from being the mom of two to how my three year old will handle things while I'm at the hospital (and a few other things in between). Speaking of my three year old...

I've mentioned before that he has a sensory processing disorder (SPD). He receives speech therapy, OT, and behavioral therapy (SEIT services) to help him along. Last year we saw an immense improvement. This year, I wonder if he's overwhelmed; and that overwhelms me. Recently he's begun acting out and has become very aggressive towards me. We're hoping it's the anxiety over the new baby (and his taking advantage of the fact that, being very pregnant, I can't handle him physically) but I have fears.... and anxieties... and worries of my child's future. And then I wonder: could this trigger another depression? But I'm trying not to over-think that, right?

So, while I have a plethora of things I could write about, maybe should write about, I just can't seem to find the words (or the bravery to sit down at the computer and face my anxieties) or the time to get these posts out of my head and onto the web. My therapist thinks I should write a book. I find this amusing given the fact that I can't even find time to write my blog. LOL. Well... maybe someday.

So, if you're still around and following my feed, thanks for standing by. I think I'm going to need this blog again so I hope I can find a way to make the words flow again. In a few short weeks, I'll have an inkling of whether or not I could be battling PPD again. I sure hope not. I hope I can return with words of encouragement that it didn't happen a second time. But you know what? I survived it once and, if I must, I will survive it again. At least this time I'll be armed with a plethora resources at my fingertips.

Making a Plan

2011-06-07T16:48:00.001-04:00

Have I mentioned I'm pregnant? I think I have. If not, you've probably gathered that from a few of my previous posts. This pregnancy is different in many ways. Yes, it's the second, so some of that pregnancy "newness" is gone. And, yes, I've had more physical symptoms this time around (morning sickness? try just plain sick; and then some). But the real reason it's different is because I have much more fear going in to this pregnancy. Gone is the naive "I can handle anything parenthood throws at me" attitude I had during my first pregnancy. Replacing that is experience that reminds me A. I'm going into this with a greater risk of having PPD and B. I will learn to handle anything parenthood throws at me but it isn't always easy or instinctual; in other words, motherhood does not come naturally to me. Equipped with this knowledge I feel both more prepared for Parenthood Round II and simultaneously scared to death of it.

The decision to have another baby was not made lightly. In fact, it was a decision about two years in the making. During that time I've had a lot of discussions, both with my husband and my therapist, about what I'd do differently the next time around. One thing we all agree on is the need to have a plan in place before baby arrives that will address some of the issues I struggled with after my son was born and will also act as a contingency plan in the event we see those darn PPD symptoms rearing their ugly head once again. I'm a planner so this concept of having a plan in place does give me some comfort. It's the worrier in me, however, that wonders whether or not it will work. (I know, I know... why add one more worry to the list, right? Maybe I need a plan for that.)

Over the past few years, I've filed away a few different resources I've found to help me make this plan (like Karen Kleiman's book, What am I Thinking? Having a Baby After Postpartum Depression which I highly recommend). As I go through all my saved links and bookmarked blog posts, I'll be sure to share what works and what doesn't. In the meantime I came across this post, today, on Postpartum Progress. In it, Kate Kripke suggests a table outlining physical, emotional and social aspects of your life while noting what works and what's missing. While the post is aimed at those currently struggling with PPD, I couldn't help but think that this is a great tool to add to my plan. I want to look at it from the point of my current life (so if the road becomes rocky once again I have a lucid reference point) and I also want to think back to how I would have answered the same questions during the throes of my PPD. I think you could tweak the table in any way that suits your needs and, whether you're struggling with a perinatal (or any) mood disorder or making your own contingency plan, it's worth a few minutes of your time to read what Ms. Kripke has to say:
Finding Balance Between Body, Mind & Social Network During Postpartum Depression - Postpartum Progress - postpartum depression hope

I'm Scared...

2011-06-06T16:23:00.002-04:00

I'll have PPD again...
and that it will creep in during the third trimester. Again.
that, even though we have the knowledge and experience this time and (will have) a plan put in to place, that if PPD rears it's ugly head once again, we'll still be in denial.
I can't handle two; especially with a preschooler with a sensory processing disorder.
baby 2 will have the same issues as my little guy.
I won't have enough help.
of feeling alone. Again.
of changing my little guy's world forever.
I'll lose myself all over again.
I'll have to take medication (again).

PSI Declares May National Maternal Depression Awareness Month - Postpartum Progress - postpartum depression hope

2011-06-06T16:06:00.000-04:00

I'm so very behind on my blog reading (in addition to writing) that I completely missed this (and that makes me sad):

PSI Declares May National Maternal Depression Awareness Month - Postpartum Progress - postpartum depression hope

I think this is a great thing and next May I'll be ready for it!

Thank You!

2011-05-31T16:31:00.001-04:00

I realized that my last post, regarding this blog's recent nomination, did not include a proper "Thank You" to whoever nominated me. I do apologize. I was so surprised that I got caught up in the excitement. So... "Thanks!" You made my day.

To all of you that have cast votes for me: "Thanks, to you, too!" I don't expect my blog to win awards or become hugely popular; it's just a way for me to express myself and if it helps a few people on the way, even better. There are many other blogs in the running that are truly worthy of your votes so just being included has been exciting for me. I've also found some new (to me) blogs on the list that I'm looking forward to visiting.

I've Been Nominated!

2011-05-27T16:47:00.003-04:00

It seems that someone has nominated me for Circle of Moms Top 25 Mental Wellness Blogs. I'm flattered for sure. Now I guess I need to get back to blogging right? (Trust me, I have A LOT of material to work into a blog post these days; if only I could find the time!)If you'd like to vote for me, I'd greatly appreciate it and say "Thank You!" in advance.

You can vote here: Circle of Moms Top 25 Mental Wellness Blogs by Moms

Questions from a SAHM for working parents

2011-05-20T12:35:00.001-04:00

In case you hadn't seen this yet, I just had to share. It gave me quite the chuckle. (Even if you're a working parent, I think you'll find it funny.)
Questions from a SAHM for working parents

Just a Little Catch-Up

2011-05-17T16:27:00.000-04:00

Is there such a thing as blogger's block? I think I have it. Even when I have time to write a post, I just can't seem to get my thoughts together enough to do so. {Sigh........} I'm even behind on my blog reading so I apologize for my lack of comments there, too.

Life has been busy and, believe me, I have A LOT that I actually could blog about if only I could get it together. There is hope there, though, right? Shall we say I've just been on a family first hiatus?

My son is doing well with all his therapies but the crazy schedule is starting to take it's toll and we are counting down the days until summer vacation. (Perhaps then I will find time to blog again?) He's a never-ending ball of energy and I... well, I am not. Lol.

January brought with it a miscarriage at 7 weeks and it seemed our run of rough patches had not come to an end after all. Fortunately, we had our little guy to remind us how lucky we are and make us smile when we least expected it.

In March, my first kitty passed away. Not completely unexpected but very sad none-the-less.

HOWEVER.... March also brought good news: another chance at a sibling for J! Things are going well so far (well, minus almost four months of 24/7sickness and a bought of acute bronchitis for me; but I digress) and we pray that all continues to go well. This, of course, brings renewed fear of PPD again and how I'll cope with two. More on that later, I'm sure.

As just a final note, I thought I'd point out that May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Spread the word.

What To Do, What Not To Do When Your Wife Has Postpartum Depression | Psychology Today

2011-03-21T10:30:00.000-04:00

Although this article is targetd to the dads (significant other), I think it could also be useful information for friends and other family members:
For Dads: What To Do, What Not To Do When Your Wife Has Postpartum Depression Psychology Today

Understanding boys: In and out of the classroom - Boxford, MA - Tri-Town Transcript

2011-03-01T17:06:00.000-05:00

Great article of you're a mom of boys:
Understanding boys: In and out of the classroom - Boxford, MA - Tri-Town Transcript

The 10 Most Irritating, Least Helpful Parenting Tips Ever - Parenting on Shine

2011-02-16T12:11:00.000-05:00

This popped up on my Yahoo! home page today and I just had to take a peek. I particuarly agree with #1 and #2. Especially #2. (Oh, and yes, I do plan to return to bloggy land; I just don't know when.) Enjoy:
The 10 Most Irritating, Least Helpful Parenting Tips Ever - Parenting on Shine

Sensory Processing Disorer

2011-01-18T14:18:00.001-05:00

Most of you, I think, know that my son has a Sensory Processing Disorder. When I/we settle into a better routine, and I can find the time to put together thoughtful blog posts again (I am determined this will happen), I plan to include Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) as one of my primary recurring topics. In NO WAY do I feel that my son's SPD caused my PPD but I do realize that having a difficult baby likely didn't do anything to help. So for those of you out there who wonder "is something not quite right?" It never hurts to do a little research; you just might find the help you need. I'll be adding some resources to my blog in (I hope) the coming days. On a side note, I have reason to believe I also have SPD and that I believe could be related to my PPD (more on that later). For now, here's a very short video from Sensory Smart Parent:

3 Ways to Naturally Beat the Winter Blues — Simple Mom

2010-12-08T13:04:00.000-05:00

Ok, time for my redundant apology for neglecting my blogging duties... life's been busy, I'm tired, yadda yadda yadda... but I truly have not forgotten you and appreciate (as always) your patience. I happened to catch this blog post over at Simple Mom and thought it was worth sharing. Hoping everyone is having a joyous holiday season whatever holiday you celebrate.

3 Ways to Naturally Beat the Winter Blues — Simple Mom

Smile...

2010-11-19T09:27:00.002-05:00

Postpartum App?

2010-11-16T12:48:00.000-05:00

I happened across this iPhone app today that claims to be a screening quiz for postpartum depression. Can't quite decide if it's a good thing or not. Perhaps I should pay the 99c and really see what it's all about. (Which brings me to my next question: should there really be a charge for such an app?) What do you think? ...Good, bad, on the right track, or way off base?

http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/inew-mommy-postpartum-adjustment/id338807415?mt=8

I'll have to get back to you with my final review. (For now I have to take my snuffly achey self back to bed.)

It Has Been a Rough Year

2010-10-29T09:56:00.000-04:00

Actually, in some respects, it has been a rough three years; but this past year, in particular, has been really tough. Ironic that a series of stressful events would start just two months after I stopped taking medication for PPD. I felt good, I felt normal, and I was happy to be on the road back to me. Then.... WHAM! Life has decided to test me; and there are days I'm not sure if I'll pass. There's the old saying, "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger." True, perhaps, but I just have to say that I'm tired of being strong. I've been doing the strong thing since I was sixteen and I'm just ready for a break. (Preferably, an un-medicated break; just a long run of good luck, please.) Is that too much to ask? Don't get me wrong, I still know that I'm lucky. I know we're fortunate in our lives to be blessed with many things others pray for and I know there are others struggling to be much stronger than me. I also know that acknowledging my blessings doesn't diminish what I'm feeling; and that my feelings are valid. It's necessary to appreciate the good in life and to move on but how can we move on if we don't address our feelings, our struggles or our pain? I don't think we can. So I won't feel guilty for the feelings I have. Don't tell me I'm lucky and that others might wish for what I have. I know that and I appreciate that; but pain is pain and loss is loss and this past year has been a painful year of loss for me. Loss in the obvious sense and the not so obvious.

The end of 2009 brought with it a very early miscarriage (my doctor suspects possibly two). So early, in fact, that there wasn't time to share the news. I thought that meant I could be sad and move on. Not true. Turns out, grief is grief no matter how early the loss and I would soon find out this was something I would never forget and this loss was going to affect me more in the months to come.

Struggles with our son would bring a diagnosis of Sensory Processing Disorder (formerly Sensory Integration Dysfunction) which would be both a blessing and a curse. Finally having a diagnosis, and knowing that not only was I not imagining his behaviors but that we would get help, was like lifting 100 pounds off my shoulders. Realizing my son is different, and diagnosed as such, would bring on more feelings of loss and anger. I was (am?) angry with God... why couldn't I have a normal motherhood? One free of PPD and with a "normal" (I hate to use that word but language fails me) child? Why is getting through the day so incredibly difficult? I'm emotionally and physically drained well before my husband gets home from work. At this point in time I was scared to death of having another baby which puts our plans on hold for a few months while I tried to deal with my conflicting feelings about more children. This would most definitely put a strain on my relationship with my husband through more or less our whole summer.

The summer would also bring the loss of my husband's grandfather. He was in his late 90's and "ready", making it "easier" to accept, but the loss of such a wonderful, loving, caring man who brought so many memories to my husband's life was in no way easy.

In the early fall, cancer would claim the lives of a very dear family friend, a father figure if you will, and also that of a mentor and colleague. I curse that disease which has take the lives of so very many important people in my life. Two people who had so much to offer this world are gone.

Then, last weekend, we very unexpectedly lost my beloved cat, Snickers. He was an important part of my life for ten years, moved with me from California to New York, and gave unconditional love. Perhaps the most painful part, however, is that he had become my two year old's very best friend. I had often recently commented to my husband that Snickers was no longer my cat; he was J's. Watching my son struggle with this loss is breaking my heart to pieces. As my friend told me, I know the drill. I know it gets better but how do I help a sad little boy who just wants to play with and love "Kitty SheeShees"?

So, as I struggle with pain and loss, I'm ready to heal. I want to move on but never forget. I want happiness to dull the pain. I think it's about time.

Crazy, Crazy Schedule!

2010-10-18T14:52:00.001-04:00

Yes, it has happened again. (Or maybe it has continued to happen??) Either way, I've neglected my blog. I'm so very sorry. I do have lots to share: some is PPD related and some is not. My two year old has a Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) which has had me delving into many books and, combined with his speech delay, sent us on a crazy therapy journey through the end of the year (not to mention he just started preschool). I've barely had time to empty the kitchen sink let alone write something coherent. I'll update you more, I promise. I really have a lot of ideas in this head of mine that I'd like to get down on this blog. For instance: given that I'm pretty sure I also had/have a SPD, could it have anything to do with my PPD? Then there's that article I read in a waiting room magazine that said hiring a Doula for childbirth can help prevent PPD... REALLY?!?!? (No matter how beneficial a doula might be, I find it hard to believe she could prevent PPD.)

So please stick around... I promise I'll make a comeback eventually.

Wordless Wednesday (Life in Bloom)

2010-09-15T16:56:00.000-04:00

Quote of the Day

2010-09-08T21:53:00.000-04:00

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity."
— Gilda Radner

Free 2011 Womens Health Calendar

2010-09-01T12:15:00.000-04:00

This looks like a nice little "treat" to remind us to take care of ourselves. I just ordered mine:
Free 2011 Womenâ€™s Health Calendar

What I Learned as a First Time Mom

2010-08-30T14:07:00.001-04:00

I've been (mentally) working on this blog post for probably close to a year. Somehow, I just haven't managed to get it written. Several months ago, when my long-time friend became a first-time-mom, I managed to get some of it into an email that I thought I'd edit but that didn't quite happen either. At this point, I just want to get it out of my head (I'm running low on RAM) and share it somewhere; it's not going to be a perfectly worded or extremely eloquent (is that redundant?) post but I think I'm ok with that. I'm certainly not perfect and this blog isn't either.

When we brought our son home from the hospital I had everything that a baby needs. Somehow, I never managed to think about what I, as a soon to be stay-at-home-mom with a newborn, might need. In the two and half years since then, I've had time to ponder what I'd do differently next time around. Now, of course, these lists are based on my personal experiences and, whether you're planning for yourself or gifting for another new mom-to-be, you have to use your own judgement and personal preferences.

A few things I found as a new mom:

The whole "sleep while the baby sleeps" advice doesn't always pan out the way you think it will. My little guy nursed every two hours. Start to Start. That doesn't leave a whole lot of time in between and I found that during that time I was scrambling for something to eat myself and by the time I got to my bed for an attempt at sleep, he'd be waking up and ready to eat. Again. What I learned: stock up on one-handed, quick snacks or meals such as cereal bars, nutrition drinks, energy bars, etc. Look for items that have at least some nutritional value and remember to eat balanced meals as you can.
Skip the flowers. I know the sentiment is nice but, for myself, it just doesn't make any sense. I have allergies and I have cats that eat the flowers and then get sick. The last thing I wanted to worry about with a newborn was cleaning up cat sickies on the carpet. Thus the flowers we received sat waaaaaaay up high out of reach of felines and didn't thrive so well in their forgotten about environment. (Note: I do/did appreciate the thought. So if you sent me flowers, not to worry.) If you do want to send flowers to the new parents, I might suggest to opt for something more "useful" like an Edible Arrangement. (In my case, I plan to politely decline flowers in advance next time around. For those that really like to go that route, I might suggest they instead have flowers sent to my parents' grave sites in celebration of their new status as grandparents.)
ACCEPT HELP. I'm bad at this. I think I learned my lesson. Maybe. We'll find out next time around.
My OB/GYN once told me that she told all potential visitors that, if they wanted to come see the new baby (she said learned this by babies two and three), then they must either bring a meal or help tidy. I never did try that approach yet I've always thought it's a good one.
Check out the post Crushing the Bowl of Cherries Myth by Amber over at Beyond Postpartum; I love her suggestion for including the book The New Mom's Companion as part of a baby shower gift.
Save yourself some time and utilize websites and services such as Alice or Schwan's for household and food delivery. If you shop right, you can save time without spending more money.

If you're nursing:

http://www.kellymom.com/ is a wonderful resource.
The Nursing Mother’s Companion by Kathleen Huggins: http://tinyurl.com/2djmowc
ANY hands free pumping “bra” – I used this one: http://tinyurl.com/28sp4l4 (yes, you look like a “femme bott” but it gives you a little extra “you” time; I always enjoyed reading guilt free.)
Washable nursing pads (at least for at home).
Hot/Cold Breast relief packs: http://tinyurl.com/27sborp

Oh… and for recovery, ahem, “down there” (worth every penny): http://www.mom4life.com/catalog.php?item=1155

Someday maybe I'll polish up the list and even add to it. For now, I've freed up enough space in my brain to worry about the next project.

In a bit of a rough spot...

2010-08-26T12:27:00.000-04:00

I know I haven't posted much lately but, as I've mentioned before, I've had a lot going on and family comes before blogging. I hope to get back to writing more often as I think it IS therapeutic for me in a sense. It's been a rough year, which started last November, and things haven't been getting any easier. I can't go into details, because it's personal and family related, but I promise I will be back as time allows.

On that note, I pose a question to the other PPD survivors I "know" through blogs... do you feel people see and/or treat you differently since your PPD? Do you ever feel that your bad moods, or rough spots, are treated as an extension of your past PPD even when you feel it's likely unrelated? Let me explain, as I noted above, I've been in a bit of a rough spot lately. I've been down in the dumps periodically and, most certainly, stressed to the max but it feels NOTHING like my PPD. My PPD was a feeling I couldn't explain; what I'm going through now I can explain; I can make a list of the problems I'm having, why they bother me, and how I want to fix them. It's the difficulty in accomplishing the latter that causes the most trouble. Yet I feel that even my husband wants to "explain it away" by throwing it under the PPD blanket rather than dealing with, or helping me deal with, the issues at hand. Just some food for thought. For now, my supposedly napping, over-tired toddler is making odd thumping sounds in the next room. Thus a big reason my blog sits lonely in cyberspace...

AOL News Story Makes Outrageous Comments About Postpartum Depression - Postpartum Progress

2010-08-18T10:30:00.000-04:00

AOL News Story Makes Outrageous Comments About Postpartum Depression - Postpartum Progress

Got Swag?

2010-08-05T15:46:00.001-04:00

OK, I don't often write these types of posts but I'm very excited about this.

Like most Americans, Hubby and I are working diligently at cutting costs. We hope to keep the Munchkin out of full time daycare if we can and that means some sacrifice on our part. So, I've signed up for every frugal, coupon announcing newsletter, Facebook update or blog post I can. In the process, I discovered SwagBucks. What's that? Well, let me explain: you earn points for searching the Internet then you redeem points for prizes (even PayPal cash). Can it get any easier than that? You can install the toolbar, just the search engine or just go directly to the website without installing anything; that's really up to you. All I can say is: LOVE IT! I've been on maybe two weeks and already have enough points for an Amazon gift card.

Check it out:

Oh... and if you scroll down to the bottom of my blog page you'll find a "Swidget" wich will ocassionaly give you additional Swag Codes.

In the interest of full disclosure, I do get some points if you register off my links.

Just Talkin’ Tuesday: Let’s talk about sleep | My Postpartum Voice

2010-07-21T16:45:00.000-04:00

Family life is still taking priority over my blog time (not that you, my bloggy friends, aren't important) but I was catching up on a little reading and this post gave me just the little chuckle I needed to day (and it's so true) so I thought I'd share:

Just Talkin’ Tuesday: Let’s talk about sleep My Postpartum Voice

Bless the Broken Road

2010-06-18T14:51:00.002-04:00

I realized that sometimes I get so wrapped up in the PPD stuff that I forget to blog about how lucky I am. I should have done this yesterday for "Thankful Thursday" but better late than never, right?

Yes, I have had some challenges since I became a mom -a colicky, fussy baby with reflux who became a toddler with a speech delay and potential sensory issues, not to mention my PPD, inter-mingled with being an orphaned adult myself - and no, I don't love being a mom. Yet. But I DO love my son and I DO count my blessings every day and despite the sometimes rocky road, I feel lucky...

I have a child. I have known so may families who still/have struggle(d) with trying to have a family of their own. I KNOW I am lucky.
He's healthy. Yes, he has reflux but even if he is on medication for the rest of his life, I know that's nothing compared to the challenges many other families face. It's not life threatening and he can live a normal, healthy life.
I had PPD - it was hard. It was the most horrible, dark place I have ever been but I got through it because I have a husband and doctor who support me and guide me.

There's the almost cliched saying: "What doesn't kill one makes one stronger." I think it's true. It's the challenges in life that that shape us into who we are. Sometimes we need the rocky road to appreciate the smooth drive.

For our wedding song, my husband and I chose Bless the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts because it summed up how our life together came to be. I heard it on the radio this morning and realized, in many respects, it still holds true today.

Full Plate

2010-06-17T11:54:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I feel like our family's plate is too full and if one more thing gets placed on it, it's going to break. Or at least crack. Do you ever feel this way or is it just me? Just when my husband and I think we have enough to worry about, and therefore just must be at our limit, something gets added to the list. Ugh. That being said, I'm sorry I'm neglecting my blog. Priorities, you know? I need to get things a little more settled on the homefront. As always, thanks for your patience.

Our son is being evaluated for some sensory issues. We're hoping he gets approved for occupational therapy. Getting through the days can be a very difficult task which many times (probably at least 2-3 times a week, if not more) has me in tears and at my breaking point. Often even before noon. Making my life more frustrating are the people who don't understand and refuse to believe he has a problem. This is nothing new; since he was an infant we've struggled with friends and family who just don't "get it." But that's getting old. And when frustration gets old, I think it sometimes sends one towards their breaking point. You ignore it for a while but it eventually eeks back in reminding you that you should deal with it. I feel like I'm lacking an adequate support system and often feel like this just might push me to the edge enough to backslide into that darn PPD place again. I'm hoping I still have the tools in place to prevent that from happening but as many other PPD bloggers have written before me, I often wonder/worry, from time to time, if I'm really through it. These are the days I long to move away; back "home" to the Southern California sun and it's familiarity (family in tow, of course). But I digress....

Katharine Stone at Postpartum Progress has a great response piece to the PPD debate that has recently hit the "mommy blogger" community. If you are a personal friend or family member, I ask that you please read it. Even if you don't know me, I encourage you to read it. Katherine very eloquently responds to recent negative comments about/to mothers dealing with PPD. If you don't understand PPD (and, truly, unless you've lived it you probably can't comprehend it), Katharine's piece might give you some insight. (Yes, all the links in this paragraph take you to the same place. I wanted to make sure you get there.)

A Moving Thought

2010-06-10T10:12:00.000-04:00

I don't think it's any big secret to those who know me personally that my husband and I have been toying with the idea of moving. We're in that "do we stay here/stay local/stay regional/or maybe move-cross- country-back-to-my-roots?" phase of thinking. Nothing is imminent, if it even happens at all, but still a huge factor in our considerations has been my battle with PPD. We wonder: would being closer to family/friends help? What if we have another; then where do we want to be and when? If we move, do we do it before or after any potential future munckins? A lot of factors to consider for sure. That's why I was glad to see this piece, from Postpartum Progress, as a reminder of how moving can be a stressor for PPD:

"...This move also reminds me how stressful moving is, which is why it is no surprise that an event like this can be a risk factor for postpartum depression. It's very unsettling not knowing where everything is, dealing with your children's discomfort in being uprooted, feeling like you are in a foreign place..." (Read More...)

Happy Memorial Day!

2010-05-31T12:34:00.002-04:00

Take a moment today to remember all the brave men and women to have served, continue to serve, or have died for our country.

"We come, not to mourn our dead soldiers, but to praise them." -Francis A. Walker

Re-post: May is Skin Cancer Awareness Month

2010-05-24T18:48:00.002-04:00

Originally posted 5/27/09

It's that time of year... the sun is shining and everyone heads outdoors for fresh air, family fun, and some sun. It also means it's time to stock up on the sunscreen and sun smarts. Did you know that skin cancer is the most common type of cancer?

When I moved to Western New York almost ~~five~~ seven years ago (having been born and raised in Southern California) I was somewhat surprised to notice how tanning - either at a salon or out in the sun - seemed much more prevalent than in my hometown of San Diego. I'm not saying I've never laid out in the sun but it seems the awareness (perhaps even fear) of skin cancer must be much more prevalent in sunny San Diego.

Please, please... use your sunscreen (and don't forget to re-apply), spend time in the shade, and be sun smart. Don't forget: you can get a sunburn on an overcast day!!! Check your sun safety IQ by clicking here.

Some quick facts from the American Cancer Society:

Skin cancer is the most common of all cancers. This type of cancer can almost completely be avoided if people would protect their skin and follow simple guidelines when they are outside.
There are more than 1 million skin cancers diagnosed each year in the United States. That’s more than cancers of the prostate, breast, lung, colon, uterus, ovaries and pancreas combined. And the number of skin cancers has been on the rise for the past few decades.
The vast majority of skin cancers are due to unprotected ultraviolet radiation (UV) exposure. Most of this radiation comes from sunlight, but some may come from artificial sources, such as tanning booths. The amount of UV exposure depends on the strength of the light, the length of exposure and whether the skin is protected.

Reduce your risk of skin cancer:

Limit direct sun exposure mid-day (between 10am and 2pm have long been said to be the strongest rays - this has now been extended to 4pm)
Cover Up
Use a sunscreen with an SPF 30 or higher
Wear a hat
Wear UV blocking sunglasses
Avoid tanning beds and sunlamps! (Positive links to skin cancer have not been made.)

Visit the Sun Safety page for even more information and tips.

Review: Covergirl Smokey ShadowBlast and Shine Blast

2010-05-23T14:22:00.002-04:00

I'm doing a Bzzz campaign for the new Covergirl Smokey ShadowBlast eyeshadow and ShineBlast lip gloss ( http://www.covergirl.com/beauty-buzz/whats-new.jsp ):

I LOVE the lipgloss: for me it lasted a good amount of time (not all day but what gloss does?), went on easily, and didn't feel "goopy" like other glosses do. Average cost is about $7 and I'd say it's worth it.

The Shadow is fun but not fabulous. The colors are nice, and it's great having the convenience of two colors IN one applicator tool, but if you don't like pencil shadows you won't like this. The shading tip broke on my first use (not completely, but enough to be annoying). All in all, it IS convenient for your summer runaround, travel, or beach bag. Average price is about $8 and if you already like pencil shadows I'd say it's worth the
price. Otherwise, skip it and go for something more traditional.

Blogging for Mental Health

2010-05-18T07:00:00.066-04:00

As I mentioned earlier this month, May is Mental Health Awareness Month. What I didn't realize, until now, is that congress designated it so back in 1949. We've come a long way since then but I'm not sure we've come far enough. Mental health is still stigmatized and generalized. It's time for that to change.

Postpartum depression is a mental health illness that affects at least 20% of all new mothers (this statistic varies depending upon where you look but 20% seems to be the number quoted most often). That percentage only reflects reported cases; how many women go untreated because they are afraid to go to their doctor with their concerns? I suspect more than we'd like to believe.

I found it surprising, when I decided to go "public" with my PPD, how many women I met sighed with relief and said, "so did I!" Yet less than half of them had spoken to their doctors about it. I'm not saying every woman with PPD depression needs to be medicated - that's a personal decision between a woman and her doctor - what I'm saying is that it's frightening how many women think it's something to be embarrassed about. For a time, I was one of them.

PPD isn't caused by something we do or did. It's an illness that can affect us as randomly as a flu virus. Sure, some women have a history that may possibly predispose them to it but for many it's a surprise and a shock. The important thing to remember is that there is help and it's OK.

The best thing I ever did was stop hiding my postpartum depression. When I finally started telling family and friends it was like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I didnt' have to hide any more. I could concentrate on getting well instead of pretending I was well. Huge, huge impact for me. No, it wasn't easy. In fact it was one of the most difficult things I had ever done. True, some people backed away from me and some believe the stigma and the generalizations but if these people cannot, or will not, support me (and my family) why would I want to be surrounded by them? The people that matter have been supportive, caring, and understanding (even if they don't understand).

What is right for me might not be right for someone else. I realize that. I also believe, however, that if we can educate the public about PPD, remove the stigma, correct the misinformation, and make it something that is talked about, then maybe more women would be inclined to get the help that they need (whatever that may be).

It's May

2010-05-03T15:05:00.000-04:00

And, yes, I know I've been MIA. I've had a lot of family and {gasp} me things to take care of. I'm working on some posts (well, at least I have ideas in my head) for the coming weeks. Did you know that May is Mental Health Awareness month? More on that coming soon. For now I leave you with this link to Postpartum Progress regarding the upcoming Mother's Day Rally for Moms' Mental Health:

2nd Annual Mother's Day Rally for Moms' Mental Health This Sunday! - Postpartum Progress

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My Blog is Carbon Neutral

2010-04-22T12:10:00.002-04:00

This post is long overdue. I've been meaning to do this for, oh, a couple of months and I'm a bit ashamed that it's taken me this long.

"According to a study by Alexander Wissner-Gross, PhD, physicist at Harvard University and environmental activist, an average website causes about 0.02g (0,0008oz.) of carbon dioxide for each visit. Assuming an average blog gets 15,000 visits a month, it has yearly carbon dioxide emissions of 3,6kg (8lb.). This can mainly be tracked back to the immense energy usage from (mainframe) computers, servers, and their cooling systems." (Quoted from the My Blog is Carbon Neutral website.)

The "My Blog is Carbon Neutral" program started in Germany as a way to help ease the carbon footprint. For every blog that participates, they plant a tree thus helping to neutralize the carbon footprint left by your blog. Easy, right?

Since today is Earth Day, I've been thinking about that steps I've taken, and those I still need to take, to help make our world a better place to live for future generations. I consider myself green; I may not be a perfect shade of green but I do all I can to help planet earth and pledge to keep bettering my efforts.

I honestly don't know how many visitors I get in a day. I suspect it's not 15,000 but why take that chance?

You can make your blog carbon neutral, too. Visit the My Blog is Carbon Neutral site today and help erase your footprint.

Oh... and Happy Earth Day! Be green. :)

Quote for the Day

2010-03-18T10:01:00.000-04:00

This is one of my favorite quotes and I just happened to stumble across it again today so I thought I'd share:

"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate now knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares." ~Samuel Patterson

What Happens After Postpartum Depression?

2010-03-15T17:01:00.000-04:00

Amber over at Beyond Postpartum has a great blog post today about what happens after the postpartum period. Some women have postpartum depression (PPD) and recover to parent with minimal effects. Others (ah hem, me) still struggle with bouts of insecurity, anxiety and/or stress (among other things). You can find Amber's blog post here: My child is no longer a baby. I had PPD. How is it impacting me today?

On another note, Katherine Stone over at Postpartum Progress wants to know what types of articles you want to see on her blog. So, head on over there and leave a comment: What Do You Want to Know About Postpartum Depression?

A Simple Lifesaving Message

2010-03-08T13:18:00.000-05:00

Eighty-three percent of all civilian fire-related deaths are a result of home fires, and on average, home fires kill 540 children ages 14 and under each year. An early warning can provide critical extra seconds to escape, smoke alarms double your family’s chance of getting out of a home fire alive — but only if they work.

So, when you turn your clocks back on November 1, make a lifesaving change in your household — change the batteries in your smoke alarms. This simple habit takes just a moment, but is the best defense your family has against the devastating effects of a home fire. And don't forget to check the batteries in your smoke alarms, carbon monoxide detectors and emergency power kit during the spring time change on March 14, 2010.

Please forward this message to your friends and family so that they, too, can make the simple change that could save their lives.

This reminder for the Change Your Clock Change Your Battery® program comes from your local fire department, Energizer and the International Association of Fire Chiefs.

Turkey and Vegetable Chili

2010-02-25T12:12:00.001-05:00

First, allow me to give credit where credit is due: This recipe is originally by Curtis Stone for The Biggest Loser but I made a few changes based on what I had in my kitchen. I also didn't follow the method quite right and added the spinach and tomatoes earlier in the process. I think, though, that it worked quite well for me that way so the recipe below reflects my changes. (You can view the original recipe here or by clicking on the recipe title below.) We enjoyed our chili as a topping on small baked potatoes (as a meal) but it was also delicious on it's own the next day. (Please forgive me - I forgot to take a picture of this yummy concoction before we dug in.)

Turkey and Vegetable Chili

INGREDIENTS

1-1/2 tablespoons olive oil
1 large onion, medium diced
1 garlic clove, minced
1 small ~~red chili, seeded~~ and small diced (I had a jalepeno and left the seeds in)
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
~~1 large carrot, peeled and small diced~~ (I didn't have this on hand so just skipped it)
~~1 large celery stalk, medium diced~~ (Also didn't have)
~~1 small yellow bell pepper, seeded and medium dice~~ I used a combo of red and green peppers because that's what I had (and they were frozen/diced)
12 ounces 1% lean ground turkey
~~4 medium size ripe~~ tomatoes, ~~medium diced~~ I didn't have tomatoes so i used a can of diced with mild green chilis and a can of original stewed (which i cut up a bit in the pan with my spatula)
8 oz cooked ~~white~~ or black beans (I used half a can because hubby doesn't like beans; I would have enjoyed more though)
4 cups baby spinach (I had frozen chopped spinach on hand)
Freshly ground black pepper
1/4 cup plain fat free Greek style yogurt
Micro cilantro to garnish, (can substitute with chopped chives or chopped cilantro)

METHOD

Place a large saute pan over medium high heat, then drizzle with the oil.
Add the onion, garlic, and red chili and sauté for 2 minutes, or until tender.
Sprinkle the cumin, and a dash of cilantro, over the onion mix and stir well, then add the carrot, celery, spinach and bell pepper and cook for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally, or until the vegetables begin to get tender.
Add the tomatoes and the beans and cook for a further 8 minutes, stirring occasionally, or until the tomatoes have broken down and most of the liquid has evaporated.
In a separate saute pan, brown the turkey in the remaining oil over medium high heat (drain), then transfer to the vegetable mix.
Season the chili to taste with freshly ground black pepper
Spoon the chili into serving dishes or use to top a baked potato
Spoon a tablespoon of the yogurt onto each garnish and serve.

Oh! and I almost forgot....

2010-02-24T13:44:00.004-05:00

I have a new Facebook page! Won't you be my fan?

Catching up?

2010-02-24T13:17:00.001-05:00

I know, I know, I know... I keep telling you that I'm going to get caught up on my regular blog posting. I have good intentions, I really do. I most definitely appreciate all of you hanging in there and continuing to follow me. As much as I'd love to post more often, I also know that my number one priority is taking care of my family. So please don't think I've forgotten about all my bloggy friends; I haven't. I think about you often. So, if you don't mind, please stick it out and I promise I'll keep doing my best to get "caught up." Although, I wonder: is there really such a thing as getting caught up? But I digress...

Given my list of chores for the day, I thought (in lieu of being original) I'd just pass along a couple new (to me) blogs that I've been forunate enough to discover. I'm also awarding them the Best Blog Award:

Musings, Musings, Musings - The Muser shares her experiences with perinatal and postpartum depression, motherhood and more. She is also starting a weekly round up of other blogs that discuss perinatal mood disorders (and I thank her for including me on the list).

Housewife Bliss - What a fun blog! Her recent posts have included Sexy New Girlfriend - the experiment and Looking at my home with fresh eyes.

{P.S. - If anyone can tell me where the spell check feature is in the new Blogger post editor, I would be forever greatful. (Or is it grateful? If I could spellcheck, I'd know.) }

{P.P.S. - Juicebox Jungle tells me that 118 people clicked on my Jungle box last month - does that mean I have more than the 18 followers I know about? I'd love to meet you! :) }

A Mom With a New Baby Needs Your Help! | Best for Babes

2010-02-23T13:30:00.000-05:00

And speaking of catering a little more to postpartum moms, check out this great resource for moms to be:
A Mom With a New Baby Needs Your Help! | Best for Babes

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Postpartum Depression Research in WNY

2010-02-23T13:00:00.001-05:00

I was very pleased to see this article in this issue of the Buffalo State College magazine 1300 Elmwood.

It is still amazing to me that the United States, certainly thought to be a progressive country by most, is still one of the few that doesn't do more to help new mothers. I think we've created a sterotype for ourselves of the perfect soccer mom - the mom who can be all, do all, and still look fabulous. All while thoroughly enjoying every minute of it. I'm not saying this mom doesn't exist but I'm certainly learning that this is not the norm. Anyway... take a look at the article (it's not long): After Baby: Now What? Research examines access to health care for postpartum depression.

Madly in Love with Me (and a Giveaway)

2010-02-11T21:11:00.001-05:00

One of the many things I've learned (and am still learning) from my battle with postpartum depression is that I have to make time for myself. I need to change my thinking, in many cases, and learn to believe that I am a good mother and wife. But how can I believe that if I regularly criticize myself?

Last night, driving home from work, I was flipping radio stations and happened to catch an interview with Christine Arylo discussing her book Choosing ME before WE, Every Woman's Guide to Life and Love. It occurred to me that her ideas make so much sense not only from the standpoint of a romantic relationship but in other aspects of life as well. After all, how can my son learn to love himself if I don't teach by example? So, I made a mental note to look up her website to see what else I could find out.

Ms. Arylo's premis is simple: self-love is essential and women need to learn to fall in love with themselves. It really makes sense, doesn't it? It's not about superiority or narcissim; it's about learning to love you. ALL of you - your best qualities and your not so best. Instead of looking in the mirror and criticizing your weight, size, shape (fill in the blank), look in the mirror and compliment yourself. Change your thinking.

In keeping with her theme, she declared February 13 as Self Love Day. As part of Self Love Day it's time to fall madly in love with me by creating my own Manifesta:

I vow. . .
to give myself the respect I deserve.
to learn to love me for who I am (not who I think I should be).
to realize that while it's ok to become better, it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with who I am.
to take care of myself the way I deserve to be taken care of.
to compliment myself daily.
to remember that learning to love my self is a process that will continue to evolve.

It's time to realize that my flaws make me who I am and that's ok. It's ok to want to change them or improve upon myself. It's not ok to continually knock myself down for them. Life is about moving forward and there's no time to dwell on the negative.

I encourage you to visit the Madly in Love with Me website and make your own manifesta. You can download a free Madly in Love with Me Guidebook here. Start falling in love today. (With you!)

Wait... there's more!

Like this necklace?

One lucky reader could win one of her very own! Here's what you need to do:

Download the FREE Me Love Kit by clicking here.
Leave a comment on this blog post telling me either 1. The self-love dare you took and why? or 2. The self-love vow you took and why?

(Both the dare and the vows are found in the Me-Love Kit . You must download the kit and take/share a vow or dare to be a part of this contest.)

Winner will be chosen with a random number generator on March 12, 2009.

*I am working with Christine Arylo as part of this blog campaign. The necklace is being offered by her as a giveaway on this blog.

You may also visit Facebook for chances to win other prizes.

Sometimes We Need a Little Reminder

2010-02-10T10:32:00.000-05:00

So when I saw this on Baby Center today, I thought I'd share:
7 Signs Your Child Loves You

I Don't Love Being a Mom

2010-02-09T14:53:00.001-05:00

And that bothers me. Don't get me wrong - I love my son more than words can possibly express. Being a mom, however, is not turning out the way I envisioned it. I don't know what, exactly, I envisioned. Probably the "perfect mom" who bakes cookies, does crafts and colors with her child; who is always put together and full of highly creative daily activites. You know - the Donna Reed type. Not that I don't ever do these things but they certainly don't come easily. At all. Whenever I read an article, status update, tweet, etc. that says, "I love being a mom," it hurts. Because I can't honestly say that. I am convinced, though, that someday I will.

I have a difficult child: a speech delayed, strong willed, quick tempered, impatient two year old (yeah, I know: what two year old isn't impatient?). It's not his fault, of course, that I don't enjoy motherhood but his temperment tests my patience (of which I had little to begin with). Add that to my dangerous habit of idealizing everything - imagining too perfect scenarios about motherhood, holidays, life - and it's a recipe for disaster. Oh, and did I mention that I compare myself, as a mother, to everyone? Not healthy.

Is it remnants of postpartum depression? Probably. I take comfort in realizing that things ARE better. Every now and then I do have that "perfect" day where, for at least a while, I can say "I enjoy being a mom today."

I don't think this makes me a bad mother. (Ok, some days I do think that but overall I know that's not true.) I know that the most important thing is that I love my son unconditionally and I do everything I am capable of to make him happy. No one ever said motherhood was easy. In fact, I think we've all heard the phrase, "the toughest job you'll ever love." Sometimes it takes a while to get into the groove of a new job. I have a lifetime to figure it out.

And yet . . . .

I think I want to do this again.

Call me crazy.

Ways to Beat the Blues

2010-02-05T09:20:00.001-05:00

I was flipping through one of my many magazines this afternoon and came across an ad for Peperidge Farm's Fishful Thinking campaign which featured a tip designed to promote optimism and positive thinking in kids. I decided I just might have to steal the idea for myself.

The idea is a "Smile Box." Take a small box or recipe card box and decorate it in a bright and cheery way. Put your box in the kitchen, living room, bedroom - wherever you're likely to see it when you need a quick pick me up. Keep a stack of index cards and colorful markers with your box and during your day when you think of something you did that made you happy, write it down on one of the cards. Then, next time you're feeling blue, reach into your smile box for a happy thought. You could even take it a step further and add some favorite photos. (Here's Fishful Thinking's version of the project.)

Not really the DIY type? Check out Julie Green's shop, UpUp Creative, and purchase a set of her printable Feelgood Cards (she also offers an already assembled set) or customized Feelgood List.

How Cancer Has Touched My Life

2010-02-04T20:53:00.003-05:00

When I was nine, my mother became ill. It seemed sudden to me that she was in the hospital - a few times in a manner of months. I knew during one of those visits that she had surgery. I didn't know why. I think my parents were trying to protect me. It wasn't until her cancer returned, three years later, that I would learn she had colon cancer. From that point on, she endured a lot - she was in and out of the hospital for several surgeries, a colostomy, removal of the colostomy, return of the colostomy, radiation... Eventually the cancer spread to her lungs and other parts of her body. She gave chemo a try at the end; a sort of last attempt at warding off the inevitable. Finally, Hospice was called and she died in our home when I was sixteen years old and she was just 53. I will never forget that night. It was the night I realized she wouldn't be here to see me get married or to become a mother myself.

I will also never forget how strong she remained throughout her lengthy battle. The doctors didn't think she would live as long as she did. She was a true fighter. Any pain she may have been showing was hidden by a smile the minute I entered the room. She didn't want me to see her suffer. I was a teenager throught most of this - I'm sure I made things difficult on more than one ocassion (isn't that what teenagers do?) but through it all she stayed strong for me. No matter what.

I began getting colonoscopies when I turned 30.

On May 31, my 24th birthday, I came home from a river vacation to Laughlin with my friends to find my father home from work ill. He looked worse than I'd ever seen him. The next day his doctor sent him for chest xrays and I thought he was going to fall over on the way to the car. I don't think I've ever been so scared.

The chest xray showed fluid. A surgical attempt to remove the fluid a few days later would show that it was actually a type of tumor. He had mesothelioma. He tried chemo and several experimental drugs. His battle would not go on as long as my mother's. I know it pained him deeply that he would be leaving me an orphan. I know he tried hard to fight. Just three short months later he died at Hospice; two weeks shy of his 62nd birthday. I had to convince him that it was ok to go and I would be alright. He, too, always tried to put on a smile when I came in the room.

After he died I was angry. Very angry. You see, one of our constant battles was that he never went to the doctor. He didn't have health insurance and didn't think he could spend the money.

There are, sadly, so many more friends and family members affected by this horibble disease:

My dear friend died of prostate cancer when he was just 22.
My mother's best friend, my sort of surrogate mother, died of colon cancer 3 years ago.
Another dear friend fought a battle with cervical cancer 2 years ago and is a survivor!
I had pre-cancerous cells removed from my cervix in 2003.
My best friend's grandfather has had numerous skin cancer surgeries.
Yet another dear friend is currently battling colon cancer.
A friend's dad is in remission from prostate cancer.
Another friend's dad has been battling pancreatic cancer for six months.
Numerous women in my mom's group have/had family members affected by cancer.

My extended family has been affected by colon cancer, Leukemia, breast cancer... Too much.

So today, World Cancer Day 2010, I strongly encourage you to do your best to stay healthy. Maintain regular doctor visits, maintain a healthy weight, stop smoking, wear sunscreen, stop tanning. Pay attention to your body! Encourage your friends and family to lead a healthy life and give up those bad habits.

Maybe some day they will find a cure. I pray they do.

The following information is courtesy of the UICC World Cancer Campaign:

Each year, 12 million people receive a cancer diagnosis and 7.6 million people die of cancer. If no action is taken, the worldwide cancer burden is projected to reach 26 million[1] new diagnoses in the year 2030 and 17 million[2] deaths, with the most rapid increases occurring in low- and middle-income countries.
The good news is that experts estimate that approximately 40% of cancers are potentially preventable. You can significantly reduce the risk of you or your family developing cancers related to tobacco use, heavy alcohol consumption, excessive sun exposure and obesity by avoiding these risk factors and encouraging healthy behaviour such as regular exercise and eating healthily.
In addition, some cancers such as cervical, liver and stomach cancers are known to be caused by chronic infections. Prevention of these infections is possible through interventions such as vaccination, antibiotics, improved sanitation and learning simple avoidance strategies.
World Cancer Day, under the campaign slogan “Cancer can be prevented too”, is led by the International Union Against Cancer (UICC), the leading international NGO which unites over 300 member organisations in more than 100 countries in the global fight against cancer through the implementation of the World Cancer Declaration.

Support World Cancer Day 2010 - February 4th. Visit http://www.uicc.org/

I'm Back!

2010-01-22T14:24:00.000-05:00

Although you probably didn't know I was gone because I'm a paranoid Mommy Blogger who was afraid to let the world wide web know that I wouldn't be home for a week.

We took a great family vacation back to my hometown of San Diego. As soon as I get caught up (that will happen, right?) I'll tell you more about it and get caught up on my blogging. In the meantime, here's some San Diego sunshine (and a cacuts) for you:

Did you know...

2010-01-11T13:58:00.000-05:00

...that January is Cervical Cancer Awareness Month? Take time to learn more about how YOU can stay healthy and, hopefully, prevent cervical cancer by visiting Pearl of Wisdom:

Learn more about Cervical Cancer and take the plede to prevent cervical cancer here.

Time Magazine Puts Letter on PPD Screening In Its 2009 Letters of the Year - Postpartum Progress

2010-01-08T11:17:00.001-05:00

Time Magazine Puts Letter on PPD Screening In Its 2009 Letters of the Year - Postpartum Progress

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Need A Personal Assistant?

2010-01-06T11:56:00.001-05:00

If you don't already follow Tip Junkie, and you're looking to get organized in a fun way, you'll want to check out her new Personal Assistant each month. Great tips and free printables. I can't wait to get started.

Reading Challenge Updates

2010-01-06T11:29:00.000-05:00

Well, I didn't quite make any of the book challenges I joined in 2009 but I did finish 21 books and I still think that's not too shabby. For 2010 my goal is to read 30 books (down from 50 but that's ok). Of the 30 I'm also challenging myself to include10 library books and 10 by authors new to me.

Here's the final 2009 list:

1. Living History by Hillary Rodham Clinton

2. Twilight by Stephanie Meyer

3. The Rivals by Joan Johnston

4. The Next Mrs. Blackthorne by Joan Johnston

5. Sundays at Tiffany's by James Patterson

6. The Passion of Artemesia by Susan Vreeland

7. Miss Julie by August Strindberg

8. I, Robot by Isaac Asimov

9. Edith Wharton Short Stories

10. Daddy by Danielle Steele

11. Witness in Death by JD Robb

12. New Moon by Stephanie Meyer

13. Eclipse by Stephanie Meyer

14. Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Myer

15. The Great Eight by Scott Hamilton

16. What am I thinking; Having a Baby After Postpartum Depression by Karen Kleiman

17. Literary Savannah by Patrick Allen

18. The Mighty Queens of Freevile by Amy Dickinson (LOVED this book)

19. Red, White and Blue by Susan Iassacs

20. The Deception of the Emerald Ring

21. The Seduction of the Crimson Rose

It's A New Year

2010-01-02T12:52:00.000-05:00

First, let me just say that I don't make resolutions. The only one I've ever kept was the one I made around seven years ago: not to make any more New Year's Resolutions. That being said, I do like to set certain goals for myself. I just don't put that pressure on of having to accomplish something by the end of the year - that just doesn't work for me.

So, I've thought a lot about what I want to work on this year and I decided that getting my life organzied is a good way to go. I don't just mean clutter on the dining room table (oh there's plenty) but rather clutter in my life. Little by litte I want to fix this. I realize this will be a process and I may need to take baby steps in some sense.

I posted a week or so ago about going back to work. You see, I've been browsing around The Professional Family Manager for at least six months and thinking how right Michelle is: Motherhood is a job. A full-time job at that. So why don't I treat it like one?

I get to the end of every day, get the baby (ok, toddler) in bed, and start scrambling to finish about a million chores before bed. If I decide to relax, then the chores pile up for the next day and thus the vicious cycle begins. By the next morning, I'm exhausted and don't get up till I hear babble (or cries) coming from the other room. I then trudge, toddler in tow, to the living room in my pajamas and slippers. By the time I get dressed for my day, it's already half over! This just can't go on.

Now, if you didn't click on either of the above links yet, do. Then come back.

My plan is to start reorganizing my routine. I need to set my alarm, get up, get showered, dressed, etc. and start my work day. Hopefully, I can get some of my chores, even if it's just the sit-down computer type, done before the ltitle guy is up and clamoring (rightly so) for my attention. My goal is to get my evenings back - I want to be able to sit and relax before bed not always scrambling to get everythign done. I realize that won't always be the case but my hope is that it also won't be the norm.

Wish me luck! I've never been an easy riser (I'm the queen of the snooze button) so this is definitely going to take some doing. Baby steps. I just need to remember it doesn't all have to happen at once.

Happy New Year!

*Photo Credit to Laurie|Liquid Paper on Flickr

Musing...

2009-12-31T11:31:00.000-05:00

it's something...

how one day you don't know what you want.

then something makes you realize what you do want.

but then you find you can't have it

and realize God's plan doesn't always coincide with yours.

That's life I guess:

Sometimes we need to taste the bitter to appreciate the sweet.

Be back soon....

2009-12-30T12:39:00.002-05:00

We all caught a nasty stomache bug here at our house so I'm going to have to get caught up here in a few days. Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and have a happy and safe New Year's celebration.

Thankful Christmas

2009-12-25T11:44:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas to all my bloggy friends who celebrate this blessed holiday. I thought I'd go with a Christmas edition of Thankful Thursday (despite the fact that it's Friday)...

My family: my husband, son, parents above, aunts, uncles, cousins, in-laws... Everyone one of them enriches my life.
My son's smile when, despite all the (many, many) toys he received last night and this morning, his favorite gift was a cannister of Gerber Cheese Puffs.
My faith which helps me through difficult times
My friends who smile with me in good times and lend a shoulder in bad.
My friend Angie who's surprise Christmas gift actually made me cry (in a good way)
Have I mentioned my son? The light of my life.
The blessings we have every day: food on the table, a roof over our heads, and clothes on our selves. it's so easy to overlook what is sadly a luxury for some.
And, of course, I am thankful for the blessed gift for which we celebrate Christmas today: Our Savior, Jesus Christ.

*Photo credit: Star of Wonder by c.a. muller on flickr

I'm going back to work (well, sort of)...

2009-12-21T12:16:00.001-05:00

I've been thinking about how I've been in a scheduleless (I know that's not a word but work with me here) funk lately and that I really need to do something about it. If I had a traditional office job, I'd get up, shower, get dressed... you see where I'm going here, right? Does being a stay-at-home mom truly give me license to get to work late. I do have a job: I run a daycare for one and a household for three (six if you count the three felines who also reside here). It really is a lot of work. Sure, I make my own schedule but that's where I'm beinging to thinnk the problem lies.... schedule? what schedule? Read this then check back with me ~~tomorrow~~ for my New Year's post (I changed my mind) and I'll fill you in on my plan.

Toodles...

Christmas Traditions and Missing Home

2009-12-19T22:04:00.000-05:00

It's funny - I say "missing home" but I've lived on this side of the country for slightly over six years now. You'd think I'd stop referring to San Diego as home but the truth is that it will always be my hometown.

Christmas is less than a week away and I've had the hardest time getting into a holiday groove this year. I've tried, don't get me wrong, but somehow it just hasn't felt right. That got me thinking about Christmas traditions and I realized something: I don't think I (we) have established any yet. I think we're trying to start some but maybe our family is still new. As we creep closer and closer to the big day, I am excited to see Christmas throught my son's eyes. I'm also determined to start some new - and maybe recreate some old - traditions.

I remember....

As a child I was always allowed to open one present on Christmas Eve. It was always some sort of pajamas. I loved it.

Up until the time my mom became ill with cancer our family attended a Christmas party on Christmas eve at a friend's house. I played pool with a little boy my age. I always thought I was good. Now I wonder.

The day after Thanksgiving, we'd get up super early, go to breakfast and tag our Christmas tree at Denk's Tree Farm. (We'd pick the tree up a couple weeks later.) When we got home, it was time to pull out the many boxes of Christmas decorations and get the lights up. I even decorated my room. We had lights everywhere. Not quite Griswaldesque but definitely a lot of lights.

For many years we went to Christmas on the Prado. They've since changed the name but I loved watching the Living Christmas Tree and drinking hot chocolate. I loved it when it was cold and I (not so secretly) always wished for snow.

I skated in at least two Christmas ice shows ever year. Later I would coach skaters for the Christmas show. I miss that.

Speaking of skating - I remember being on the ice before the crack of dawn, tracing my figures on the smooth ice, and hearing the mall staff (did I mention my home rink was in a shopping mall?) setting up the giant Christmas displays. I'd get excited.

I remember La Jolla Figure Skating Club Christmas parties on ice... where else can you party at 6am ON ICE?

I remember the La Jolla Christmas Parade, the Parade of Lights on San Diego Bay, and Candy Cane Lane

I hope...

That my son will look forward to his yearly pajama present on Christmas Eve

That we will continue the family trip to the tree farm.

That we will find new traditions, make them ours, and that our children will look back fondly on them as they begin new traditions with their own families.

Merry Christmas!

Did you know?

2009-12-18T17:55:00.002-05:00

Postpartum depression (PPD) doesn't necessarily begin immediatly after a birth. For some women it may begin during pregnancy. For others it could be a year or more (some believe it can happen anytime within the first five years) postpartum.
Some women may suffer from a type of PPD following an adoption
Some men suffer a type of postpartum depression
PPD (or any perinatal mood or anxiety disorder) can affect others in your household.
Most women who suffer from PPD do not have any desire to harm their child.
Postpartum Psychosis and PPD are not the same thing but both are treatable.
There are many resources out there for those that suffer from a perinatal mood disorder as well as for concerned (and/or affected) friends and family.

Learn more with this link from Postpartum Progress.

*Please contact your doctor or other medical professional for a diagnosis. This post is not intended to provide or replace medical advice. If you feel like harming yourself or your baby, call 911.

Christmas Gift Idea

2009-12-08T12:25:00.001-05:00

I was poking around SITS today and happened to find these adorable necklaces made from Scrabble game pieces. They are ADORABLE! I can't decide which I like best. Probably a good thing they're on sale this week, too. I think this might be my favorite, though:

Anyway, check out the store and maybe cross a name off your Christmas gift list: handmade by Home Studio

*Photo copyright by Home Studio.

Thankful Thursday - Thanksgiving Edition

2009-11-26T08:00:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving is a time we are supposed to give thanks. I think sometimes we forget that. The Thanksgiving holiday has become so commercialized today. I remember growing up and seeing commercials with families gathered around the Thanksgiving table sharing a meal together. Sure, it was to sell a product but somehow it was different. This year I saw maybe one such commercial. Once. Mostly, they're all about Black Friday sales and how we need to be at the stores at 3 am. (Really? 3am? I don't get it.) On that note, I think it's time to reflect on the year and what I'm most thankful for.

I am thankful for my family. I am blessed to have a wonderful loving husband, healthy son, extended family that loves us dearly, and two parents who watch over us from above.

I am thankful for my friends. We may not see each other as regularly as we used to but I'm so lucky to have friends that are always there when you need them. Looking back on all our fun times over the years often brings a smile to my face.

I'm thankful that despite difficult economic times we have a roof over our heads, food on the table, and reliable transportation. I'm fortunate enough to be home with my son - sure we pinch pennies but it's oh so worth it.

I am thankful that I've begun to enjoy motherhood. I still have my difficult moments but I've found a way to fight PPD and win. I can't begin to describe how thankful I am for this.

I'm thankful that I live in a country that makes me feel safe. That so many men and women serve our country to keep us safe - whether it be in the military, a police force, fire department, or government. Without them, we wouldn't have so many of the blessings we do. I can't forget to be thankful for their families as well - all the spouses, children, parents who support them to no end.

Wishing everyone a happy, healthy, blessed Thanksgiving.

You really need to check this out...

2009-11-19T13:07:00.006-05:00

First of all, I have to say that I {heart} La Jolla Mom's blog. Not only because I miss living in the La Jolla area but also because she shares some wonderful finds.

Now, on with the business at hand. Are you like me; do you always forget to take your reusable grocery bags to the store? I'm guilty of getting them to the car but no farther. By the time I get my two year old situated in the shopping cart and realize I forgot the bags, let's just face it: I'm not going back out to the parking lot to get them. Truly, I need this bag:

But I digress. Check out La Jolla Mom's post to see the product that just might solve the problem. It's called Tote Buddy and she explains it much better than I can. (Oh - and she's having a giveaway, too!)

It's Prematurity Awareness Day

2009-11-17T11:17:00.004-05:00

Today is National Prematurity Awareness Day and November is Prematurity Awareness Month. I received an email from March of Dimes this morning relaying the results of the second annual Premature Birth Report Card. Our country scored a D. That frightens me.

Admittedly, I have yet to read the report but this cause is still an important one to me. My cousin's son, William, was born premature (I believe at around 24 weeks) just over a month before I was lucky enough to welcome home my healthy baby boy. William went through many surgeries and has become the bravest little man I know. It brought a tear to my eye when I saw recent pictures of a happy, healthy William. I know he still has much ahead of him but I know we are all so thankful that because of research, and a survivor spirit, little William is here today.

Join the Fight for Preemies and find out how you can help. Donate now.

The Symptoms of Postpartum Depression

2009-11-16T19:47:00.004-05:00

Have you ever wondered what women go through when they have postpartum depression? What their thoughts are? What makes it postpartum depression? If you are interested in learning more (and I hope you are; if not for your sake, then for the sake of someone you may know now or in the future), please read Katherine Stone's latest post:
The Symptoms of Postpartum Depression & Anxiety (In Plain Mama English) - Postpartum Progress

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My First Ever Blog Award

2009-11-10T12:08:00.004-05:00

First, my sincere apologies for neglecting my bloggy duties for so long. Life has been crazy and I never seem to get caught up. I'm hoping that will change soon but in the meantime...

Amber over at Beyond Postpartum awarded my blog this award in thanks of my support of "Survivor Mamas" (those of us who have survived a perinatal mood disorder). I am so honored that she chose me as one of the recipients. Though my blog has gone many different directions since I started it, it was born out of my desire to share my PPD experiences with others and to do my little part to help spread knowledge of such disorders. Please take a minute to visit Amber's blog and learn more about her journey. Thank you, Amber!

The blog award rules:
To accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award and his/her blog link. Pass the award to approximately 15 other blogs that you have recently discovered and think are great! Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chose for this award.
Ok.. now this is where I am breaking the rules... I've been so busy that I haven't had time in recent months to discover 15 new blogs. I do promise to continue nominating blogs and posting them on my web as I can. I WILL nominate 15 deserving blogs; just not all at once. I hope that's OK.
Another rule breaker... I didn't recently discover these two but that's not their fault and they certainly deserve recognition I nominate:

Inside the Shell for sharing her survivor strength
New Beginnings for her honesty
Singing in the Rain for being an inspiration
Grab a Cup for sharing her PPD journey to give others strength
Musings, Musings, Musings - The Muser shares her experiences with perinatal and postpartum depression, motherhood and more. She is also starting a weekly round up of other blogs that discuss perinatal mood disorders (and I thank her for including me on the list).
Housewife Bliss - What a fun blog! Her recent posts have included Sexy New Girlfriend - the experiment and Looking at my home with fresh eyes.

Uh oh...

2009-11-06T10:24:00.003-05:00

Remember this? My 2009 De-Clutter Challenge? I think I forgot about it. I was doing really well. I was. Some days I may have missed my goal but on other days I far exceeded it so I felt that sort of evened things out. Somewhere around, oh, June or July, though, it seems I began to forget about my challenge. But 2009 isn't over yet; right? I still have just shy of two months to follow through. Wish me luck!

Something to Think About

2009-11-05T09:52:00.004-05:00

I was reading a post yesterday, by Katherine Stone of Postpartum Progress, about whether or not to have another baby after having postpartum depression. It struck a chord. I could completely identify with the author of the article she referenced. In the deepest, darkest days of my PPD, I would react with a vehement "no, I'm done" to anyone who made even the slightest suggestion that I should/would have another baby.

Today, I'm on the fence. On my good days I think that, with the right planning and help, maybe just maybe I could do this again. On my bad days I can still vividly recall my misery and fear ever going through that again. Just when I think we've decided that "yes, we can handle this," I vacillate yet again.

Don't get me wrong - I LOVE my son more than anything and I most certainly can't imagine my life without him. That deep feeling of love, though, did not come easily. After he was born, I knew in my head that I loved him but, try as I might, I couldn't feel that emotion the way I thought I should. There's a picture of me in the hospital holding my new little bundle that my husband recently told me was his favorite picture because of the look on my face as I looked down at our son. It broke my heart that his favorite picture was not at all what it seemed. You see, I remember that moment. I remember trying so hard to put what I thought should be the appropriate look on my face because maybe then I'd feel what I should. At the time I attributed this to a grueling labor/delivery and pure exhaustion. I would later learn otherwise.

So only time will will tell what is in store for our little family. Having grown up an only child and then losing my mother at 16 and my father at 24, I vowed I would never have only one child. Now I look at my little guy, currently playing with every car he owns, and wonder: would he miss out on even more of me if we give him a sibling? I just don't know.

Speaking of missing out... I think I'm going to go play with some cars.

Thankful Thursday

2009-11-05T09:44:00.003-05:00

My five for today...

I'm thankful for a healthy little boy.
I'm thankful for a loving marriage.
I'm thankful for a full night's sleep.
I'm thankful for the fact that the leftover Halloween candy is almost gone so I won't be tempted any more.
I'm thankful that "Turtle" will be here next week!

Speaking of an early Christmas...

2009-11-04T22:12:00.002-05:00

Have you heard about this brave little boy? Please take a moment this week to send him a Christmas card: http://www.mattbacak.com/mattbacaklife/help-little-noah-celebrate-christmas-early/

His Care Page (register for a free account to view): https://www.carepages.com/carepages/NoahScottBiorkman

I'm Giving In

2009-11-04T21:20:00.005-05:00

It is November 4th and tonight I drove past a home already adorned with Christmas lights. Typically I'd be the November "Bah Humbug" girl complaining that the holiday season is over commercialized and it's so ridiculous that the Christmas displays are out and that in a few short weeks (perhaps even days) the radio stations will be warming up their endless Christmas tunes. This year, I've had a change of heart. I remember saying to my husband, the day after Christmas last year, something along the lines of, "I can't believe Christmas is over; I didn't even have a chance to enjoy the season." Hmmm..... Flash back to the previous November as I Bah-Humbugged my way through stores and changing radio stations. So this year I'm not going to waste my time with negative energy. I am, instead, going to embrace the season early and see what happens. Happy Holidays!

P.S. I have referred to Christmas because it is the holiday my family and I celebrate; I by no means me to offend anyone who celebrates holidays of other faiths. I wish you ALL a blessed season.

**Photo credit: jspad's photstream on flickr

2009-11-04T15:53:00.001-05:00

Did I tell you I was given a blog award? No, I didn't; did I? Well, I'm in the process of working on my "acceptance post" so I should have the details for you soon. I promise.

Please stay tuned...

2009-10-21T15:49:00.001-04:00

I've been crazy the past month or so with so many different things but I promise I will work on dusting off my blog again this week. Thanks for your patience!

Thankful Thursday

2009-09-24T09:15:00.003-04:00

It's that time again!

I'm thankful that my son will finally be getting some speech therapy to get him talking! (I'm also thankful that all his other skills are at or above par.)
I'm thankful that despite the fact it always looks like a bomb went off in my kitchen when hubby gets home from work, he still loves me and wants to keep me. :)
I'm thankful that my son slept ALL night, two nights in a row, with NO binkie!! Woo hoo!
I'm thankful that the FedEx guy that just delivered a package didn't ring the doorbell (which would have likely woken up a napping little dude).
I'm thankful that this crazy, hectic week is finally nearing the end.

Thankful Thursday

2009-09-17T11:41:00.001-04:00

Today's "Thankful Thursday" is posted here.

Prettiest Fall Foliage Drives

2009-09-13T12:32:00.003-04:00

Fall is my most favorite time of year so I thought I'd take a quick moment to post this link. I can't wait to go on some family fall drives, decorate the house with warm decorations, and smell the smells of pumpkin pie, apple spice and cinnamon. Mmmmm... I'm feeling cozy just thinking about it!

Prettiest Fall Foliage Drives

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Uh oh...

2009-09-09T21:31:00.002-04:00

I just did the math: I'm 4 months away from the end of my 2009 Fifty Book challenge and I have only read 18 books. That means I have 4 months (less, really) to read 32 books. Can it be done? I wonder if Goodnight Moon counts...

September is Gynecological Cancer Awareness Month

2009-09-09T10:19:00.002-04:00

In July of 2003 I had pre-cancerous cells removed from my cervix. In 2006, my friend became a cervical cancer survivor. We are both thankful that we went for regular, yearly check-ups. Please make sure you do, too.

Things I've Learned Since Becoming a Mother

2009-09-03T14:27:00.003-04:00

If travelling with your entire family, ALWAYS get the travel insurance.

Only take your toddler to playgrounds that are parent friendly; following your child up and down climbing structures while hunched over because they're designed for someone who is only two feet tall is just not fun.

A mother's gut is always right (no matter what daddy thinks).

The whole "nap when baby naps" suggestion doesn't work.

Always plan to leave the house at least 15 minutes earlier than you think you need to leave the house.

Don't plan on ever being on time again. Ever.

Your child is not like everybody else's. (No matter what they think.)

There can't possibly be any feeling better in this world than an unsolicited hug from your child.

Cupcakes for a Cause

2009-08-23T15:51:00.001-04:00

Cupcakes for a Cause

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20 Indoor Activities for Kids – besides TV

2009-08-17T11:47:00.001-04:00

20 Indoor Activities for Kids – besides TV

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Postpartum Progress: PSI Hosts Free Nationwide Call This Week for Moms and Dads Looking for Answers

2009-08-16T14:43:00.001-04:00

Postpartum Progress: PSI Hosts Free Nationwide Call This Week for Moms and Dads Looking for Answers

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Thankful Thursday

2009-08-13T16:08:00.003-04:00

(An unorthodox list this week.)

This week's five things I'm thankful for:

I remembered Thankful Thursday this week.
Ok - this one might be construed as a shameless plug but I swear I would have posted it no matter what: Avon Skin-So-Soft body wash and lotion. I came to the realization that by using the body wash and lotion this summer, before heading outdoors, I have had NO mosquito bites. Coming from a girl who is not only allergic, but also an apparent mosquito delicacy, this is a HUGE development. Here's the shameless plug: I sell Avon and you can get free shipping right now if you click here.
Air Conditioning
Renew lotion (this could be yet another shameless plug for another of my WAH ventures but we'll save that for another time; we'll just leave it at the pure fact that this stuff completely rescued my feet from a life hidden by socks and shoes and I can now wear flip-flops in public.)
That in a few short weeks, I get to go "home" for a visit.

Freebie Friday

2009-08-07T14:31:00.006-04:00

I came across some great freebies this week and thought I'd share them with you. Some were from our local news segment "Ways2Save" and others I came about through message boards or web-browsing. Maybe you'll find something here you like:

Free Sample Freak - offers leads for free samples and more. Put together by a stay-at-home-mom who loves saving money.

Schwan's Food Service - Free item valued at $10 or less for new customers. No additional purchase required. (Mine arrived today. ) While you're there, sign up for the Schwan's Eat for Free program and start earning free food for referring friends and family.

Yapta - track already booked flights and get a refund if the fares drop! Claims to save the average traveler approximately $300/year.

Amazon.com - Shopping for books on a budget? They have a huge selection of 4-for-3 Books (buy 3 get one free)!

Free FiberOne samples and $5 in free coupons. Click here.

Book Recommendation

2009-07-30T12:16:00.004-04:00

I just finished The Mighty Queens of Freeville by Amy Dickinson (of "Ask Amy" fame) and had to share what a wonderful book it was. Poignant is a word that comes to mind. I found it to be touching and inspirational and it really left me in a happy place every time I read a little bit of it.

Please excuse this short post which is really not a true book review. For a more thorough (ok, and "real") review, check out Margaret Andrew's (of Nanny Goats in Panties bloggy fame) review over at curled up with a good book.

I had a random thought...

2009-07-28T16:38:00.003-04:00

That maybe....

This:

Plus This:

Just might equal this:

I have an addiction....

2009-07-24T09:40:00.003-04:00

You know those cute little buttons you find on blogs that say "grab me"? I love them. I want to collect them all. There are so many creative and cute blog buttons out there. Blinkies, too... I love blinkies. I think I have a problem; I mean, have you scrolled down my side-bar lately? It goes on and on and on with buttons and blinkies. Yet, I want more. I think I'll have to start a new blog purely for my button, badge and blinkie collections.

Thankful Thursday

2009-07-23T21:04:00.002-04:00

This week's five:

Air Conditioning
Infant Tylenol
Sleep
Mr. Clean Magic Eraser
Elmo

(I think you get the idea of how my week has gone so far.)

Attorneys to try 11th-hour bid to save seals at La Jolla beach | L.A. Now | Los Angeles Times

2009-07-23T20:33:00.002-04:00

I grew up going to this beach, a toddler playing in the sand, and later memories of watching the seals make their home here. I really hope they get to stay...
Attorneys to try 11th-hour bid to save seals at La Jolla beach L.A. Now Los Angeles Times

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Thankful Thursday

2009-07-16T09:50:00.006-04:00

Today's Five:

Aleve which seems to be the only thing helping my poor back after a mommy-picking-up-squirmy-toddler incident yesterday.
The fact that I can almost stand up straight today. (Soooo close.)
Despite the back injury, I got to go enjoy a Mom's Night Out last night and met some new people.
Matchbox cars - which distracted my son enough this morning to allow me to enjoy some coffee unperturbed.
My health - go read this blog and be inspired and thankful.

P.S. - If anyone can tell my why Blogger changes paragraph spacing, no matter what I do, I would greatly appreciate some help.

Postpartum Progress: An Open Letter to Time Magazine About Postpartum Depression

2009-07-14T09:00:00.001-04:00

Postpartum Progress: An Open Letter to Time Magazine About Postpartum Depression

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Book Recommendation for Moms

2009-07-13T20:41:00.004-04:00

If you've been here before, you know I'm a huge fan of Elizabeth Pantley and her no-cry solution books. The No-Cry Sleep Solution was a life saver for us. Here's the latest addition to my growing "No-Cry" Library:

We're just beginning our potty training journey, and are only in the "introductory" phase with our 19 month old son, but I can already tell this book is going to be yet another invaluable resource for us.

Here's a sneak peek excerpted from the book:

Potty Training - Get Ready, Get Set, GO!

If your child is near or has passed his first birthday, you can begin incorporating pre-potty training ideas into his life. They are simple things that will lay the groundwork for potty training and will make the process much easier when you're ready to begin.
During diaper changes, narrate the process to teach your toddler the words and meanings for bathroom-related functions, such as pee-pee and poo-poo. Include descriptive words that you'll use during the process, such as wet, dry, wipe, and wash. If you're comfortable with it, bring your child with you when you use the toilet. Explain what you're doing. Tell him that when he gets bigger, he'll put his pee-pee and poo-poo in the toilet instead of in his diaper. Let him flush the toilet if he wants to.
Help your toddler identify what's happening when she wets or fills her diaper. Tell her, "You're going poo-poo in your diaper." Have her watch you dump and flush.
Start giving your child simple directions and help him to follow them. For example,
ask him to get a toy from another room or to put the spoon in the dishwasher.
Encourage your child to do things on her own: put on her socks, pull up her pants, carry a cup to the sink, or fetch a book.
Have a daily sit-and-read time together.

Take the readiness quiz again every month or two to see if you're ready to move on to active potty learning.
Excerpted with permission.

Postpartum Progress: Time Magazine Skips the Facts About Postpartum Depression

2009-07-13T16:52:00.001-04:00

Postpartum Progress: Time Magazine Skips the Facts About Postpartum Depression

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I think I'm a loner.

2009-07-13T16:42:00.004-04:00

Let me explain. For those of you that don't know, I moved to Western New York from San Diego almost six years ago. I'm a San Diego native - born and raised in America's Finest City (well, a suburb there of but you get the picture). How I came to Western New York is another story for another time.

I've always felt a little bit "different" from the local natives but this summer that feeling has hit me hard. You see, I seem to be the only one here enjoying our weather in the 70's. It's been sunny and below 80 and I think that's awesome. Not much humidity to trigger my asthma, no over-heating chasing my one year old around the back yard. I mean, could it get any better? Apparently. No one I know here likes this weather. Everyone seems to like the temps over 80. So here I am, alone in my love of the weather. Sniff sniff, boo hoo. Somebody tell me I'm not crazy.

On another note, I'll come up with some more interesting blog posts this week. Guess I've been too busy enjoying the weather to come up with any engaging blog material lately.

Happy Blogging! :)

I would like to introduce you to Alice.

2009-07-08T16:21:00.004-04:00

Who is Alice you ask? Alice is a fabulous online shopping service. I heard about it on our local news segment last night (Ways2Save) and already placed my first order today. I am so excited, not only about the money I saved, but about the time I shaved off to my actual trip to the grocery store for fresh food items today. (Trust me, with a 19 month old in tow the faster I can get in and out, the better.)

Here's how it works: You sign up for a free account and start shopping. It's that simple. I chose to sort my product searches by sale price and wow did I save some money. Shipping is ALWAYS FREE so you get your items delivered to your doorstep within 2-3 business days and it doesn't cost anymore than going to the store (maybe even less if you factor in gas). How great is that??? Click the picture below to visit Alice and introduce yourself.

Thankful Thursday

2009-07-02T19:33:00.007-04:00

This weeks' five:

I remembered that it's "Thankful Thursday" (just in the nick of time)
The weekend is almost here.
The house to the rear of our property that went from horrible tenants to horribly neglected in a year has officially been demolished!
I had almost a full night's sleep the past two nights.
Our DVD player which saved a rainy day

Just Wondering

2009-06-30T16:59:00.004-04:00

Do you think that a blog has to have a theme that reflects its title, etc.? I would love to get a blog makeover one of these days but it just isn't in the budget to spend money on my bloggy hobby right now. That being said, I've been playing around with some free backgrounds today (you may have noticed if you've stopped by more than once) and I just cant find one that "works" with my "theme." (Do I have a theme anymore? I'm really not sure.) Don't get me wrong, I've found a ton of seasonal themes that I love but I'm trying to match something to my current header and, well, it's just plain not working. This is where you come in: I want your opinion so let your eye wander over to the right of my blog and take my poll. Thank you! :)

Shout-Out to Turtle

2009-06-28T11:48:00.004-04:00

This post is really a shout out to my good friend, "Turtle" of Inside the Shell, but I think some of my other readers might enjoy this little find, too.

I was perusing the Sunday paper this morning and found the annual Buffalo Magazine insert (mostly advertisements with some interesting short articles here and there) and, about half-way through, I discovered a page of unique finds which included the adorable little turtle pictured above. Do you know what it is? If not, let me help you out: It's called I-Turtle and, manufactured by Hasbro, is an adorable little speaker for your ipod (or any handheld music device). According to the product description, it's head sways, foot taps, and shell moves to the music and it also flashes colorful LEDs. It retails for around $19.99 and, although I haven't personally tested it, seems to me like a fun little find for the kid in us all.

Book Review: The Great Eight

2009-06-26T12:29:00.003-04:00

In his latest book, The Great Eight: How to Be Happy (even when you have every reason to be miserable), Olympic champion and cancer survivor Scott Hamilton outlines what he believes to be the eight general guidelines for finding happiness in your life. His well known wit and humor show through in his writing however he includes some information that seems somewhat unnecessary and distracting. If you have a competitive figure skating background, and already know much of the history and terms which he discusses, it can be somewhat distracting to the main theme of the book. Overall, it’s a good read with some practical advice but if you’re looking for a polished, traditional “self-help” book, this isn’t it.

Hamilton offers many reminders about the important things in life, taking time for faith and family, and just really remember what is important and what is not. Perhaps the most important lesson Hamilton offers is a reminder not to resist change but, rather, to accept change as an opportunity to grow: "If you take the challenge to change as an opportunity to grow and learn something new, you have mad ethe best decision - now you can evolve."

Hamilton offers some insight into his personal life - his struggles, his triumphs and even his mistakes. Those who often have a negative outlook or have trouble letting go of mistakes will likely find these reflections useful in applying Hamilton's lessons to their own life.